Wednesday, June 04, 2008


VA'AD BAYIT - or instant insanity - part 3

The other day my friend, Judi, said to me that I wasn't writing as often as I used to. She's right. But not because I don't want to. It's because I simply haven't had time. And why not you might well ask? Because I'm trying to run this damned building - that's why.

My full-time jobs never took up so much of my time - not to mention all my free time. I have become the "Mommy" of this building. A leak? Call Rena. Someone found car keys in the parking lot - next to a car - who does the car belong to? Call Rena. Actualy - ring Rena's doorbell at 11 o'clock at night. (By the way - Rena actually knew whom the car belonged to.) A smell of gas? Call Rena.

It's now time for our Assifa Clalit (our Annual General Meeting). And guess who has to bring it all together? Rena!!! To make matters even more complicated my printer has stopped printing. I think it's run out of ink but, since I wanted to buy one of those all-in-one machines anyway - the kind that's a printer-copier-fax-scanner - I called my trusty CM, (computer mumche) Elad, and we're going to look for a new one tomorrow.

All well and good except I had to get something printed today. So - I typed it up on my computer - sent it on to my friend, Riva, as an "attachment"- she will print it out on her printer - bring it to me this evening when we meet for dinner - and I'll take it to the stationery store tomorrow and have all the copies made. Something's wrong with this picture. Aren't all these machines meant to make one's life easier?

Anyway - on to the Annual General Meeting. I'm holding the meeting at my house - aren't I the "Mommy" of the building? It's a good thing I'm going to do some shiputzim (renovations) here because I expect there to be a lot of bloodshed. The meetings are never calm one way or the other - people really hate each other in this building. No one ever wants to let anyone else speak. To make matters worse the cost of heating-oil is absolutely exhorbitant and I don't know how we're ever going to pay to keep the central heating going this coming winter.

So - I will suggest shutting down the central heating and having each flat heat independently. Do you hear the screaming already? But I'm a good kid - you knew that before I said it. I did all the research - had meetings with many people - made countless phone calls - and I will offer the owners four alternative methods of heating their flats.

The meeting will be on June 8th. If you don't hear from me after that you'll know that the meeting really caused some bloodshed.

Now you know why I haven't had time to write. In the meantime I'll just chug along - dinner tonight with Riva - at a restaurant I used to eat at when it was in the center of town - not kosher. Then Pini closed the restaurant and moved to Tel Aviv. He's back in Jerusalem - not far from my house now - with a new restaurant - kosher this time (Riva's one of my friends for whom I keep my house kosher) - we'll see how it is - have heard good reports about it. Will let you know.

Speaking about letting you know - I told you three weeks ago that I was on a diet - yet again - and would keep you up-to-date on my progress. So far I have lost 4 kilos - about 8 pounds. Eleven more kilos to go - hope I stick to it this time. I'm really really trying. But - dinner out tonight - breakfast with Marallyn on Friday - a Brit Mila on Sunday - to my cousin Dizza's on Monday for Shavuout. Not to mention a reception last night at which I ate only some crudites (raw vegetables) without the dips and drank diet cola (ugh); lunch out with Shosh, at which I ate a small Salade Nicoise; dinner out with Ros - 3 spare ribs with no sweet BBQ sauce, salad and 1/2 baked potato - and so it goes.

Did I mention that Shavuout is the holiday where you eat only dairy foods - and all things good and fattening made with cheese?

Yalla, Bye.

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