Friday, September 18, 2009



My C.M. (Computer Mumche) got married the other day. Yes - hard as it is to believe - he has another life aside from baby-sitting my computer. And so it was that my friend, Evelyn - who sent him to me - blessings and more blessings on her head - and I were invited to the wedding.

This is Israel, don't forget. Everyone is family. You belong to everyone and they belong to you. And so when there is a simcha (a happy event) - you are included in the celebrations. I ask you - would I be invited to my C.M.'s wedding in New York? (No, I wasn't, as long as you're asking.)

There seems to be a competition in Israel to find a venue that is the most difficult place in the land to get to. Whoever finds the place that is the furthest away from your home or the most impossible to reach - or, better yet - someplace that neither you nor anybody else have never heard of - wins!! I thought I had been to every almost-inaccessible wedding spot in Israel - not at all. This week Evelyn and I almost drove off the end of the world.

As you all know by now - I have the chush kivoon (sense of direction) of a toaster-oven - no offense meant to toaster-ovens. So Evelyn drove. Was I glad. I didn't have any idea of where I was for even one minute of the trip. Okay, I just lied a bit - we went down kvish mispar 1 (road number 1) - I actually knew where I was for a very short time. Then we turned left somewhere, then we drove straight ahead for a while, then we made a hairpin U-turn onto a parallel road, then we made a right turn - and then we drove - and we drove - and we drove - and the road turned to gravel and then the road turned to dirt - and there were no lights - and when we couldn't drive any more - there we were.

It was a lovely wedding. Very modern. The groom was walked down the aisle by his Mom, his Dad, and his Mom's partner - whose name also appeared on the invitation. So different to the divorces I know - including mine from my practice husband - where everyone hates everyone else. Nice people at our table - including a journalist from Montreal who shares the same taste in jazz and blues as mine. We both gave our ages away by reminiscing about Art Tatum, Teddy Wilson and the MJQ - not to mention Chuck and Gap Mangione. But, interestingly, he had never heard of Nelly Lutcher, Rosemary (ChiChi) Murphy or Alberta Hunter.

Also at the table were three people from Ra'anana or Kfar Saba - or someplace like that along the coast - who drove around for one-and-a half-hours after they reached the vicinity of the wedding before they actually found the place!!! Evelyn didn't make one wrong tune, may I tell you. She even led those same people back to the highway after the wedding in the dark - pitch black darkness - without a misstep.

So - my C.M. is now married - for the second time. His wife is absolutely lovely.(But what do I know - I liked his first wife, too.) I wish them all the happiness there is to be had in the world - what a wonderful start to a New Year.

Of course you understand that I need him here - now. I need to scan something and the little message on my printer is telling me that I can't - and I don't know why. Do you think he'd interrupt his honeymoon for me?

And to all of you a Shana Tova Umetuka. G'mar Hatima Tova.

Yalla, Bye.

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