Sunday, December 09, 2007

 

B..B..B...BACON

I'll tell you the truth. There are really times when I wish I didn't keep kosher at home. What brings that up? It's this way.

This evening I was watching IRON CHEF AMERICA on the Israeli Food Channel. Now - just because it's called the Israeli food channel it doesn't mean that all the programs are Israeli or in Hebrew or kosher - we also get programs from abroad and also Israeli programs that aren't kosher.

So anyway - there was I watching the food battle between Susur Lee of Toronto and Bobby Flay of New York. And what was the secret ingredient? Bacon. Four kinds. Irish bacon. American slab bacon. Italian pancetta - non-smoked bacon. And salt pork. With a little bit of caul fat thrown in for good measure. So what could be bad?

Just then the phone rang - and Marallyn was on the other end....she was watching the same show. (Did I tell you that we are addicted to the Food Channel?) "I'm drooling" she said. "I'm starving and I was just going to make myself a tuna sandwich". A tuna sandwich? How does that satisfy when the chefs are making ten different dishes with bacon? I could almost smell the bacon through the television.

And to make matters worse - one of the dishes was scallops and bacon - a simply divine combination and one that I always order in London at Manzi's. Wait - maybe the bacon and scallops were kosher. A good friend of Fred's was Harry Kemmelman - do you remember him? He wrote the Rabbi Books - "Friday the Rabbi Slept Late" was the most famous. Anyway - he once said to Fred that eating a ham and cheese sandwich was kosher - why? - because eating ham was a no-no and eating meat and cheese together was a no-no - soooooo - two negatives make a positive....thereby making a ham and cheese sandwich kosher. I wish.

So what did poor Marallyn have for dinner? I made a fabulous vegetable-turkey soup from one of the carcasses of my Thanksgiving turkeys and gave a care package to her - so she took it out of the freezer and that's what she had for dinner. Did it take the place of a BLT down with mayo or a grilled cheese and bacon? NO! But it sure beat a tuna sandwich.

And who won the Iron Chef competition? It was a tie. And I'll go to bed and dream of bacon. My house may be kosher - but my heart and my stomach sure aren't.

Yalla. Bye.



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