Thursday, August 16, 2007



Those of us/you who celebrate holidays "not of the Jewish persuasion" don't have it so bad. Don't have it so bad? We/you have it very good.

Christmas? Always - always - always - December 24th & 25th. New Year's - always December 31st and January 1st. Each year it rermains the same. July 4th? On July 4th. Halloween? Always the same date. Thanksgiving - the third Thursday in November - and you can bet your life on it. True - in the States George Washington and Abraham Lincoln have kindly consented to move their birthdays to a Monday to give Americans two long weekends - but it's always around the same time each year.

Jewish Holidays? They're a crapshoot. They're either "very early" or "very late". Jewish Holidays are never - ever - "on time". Take this year, for example. Rosh Hashana is much too early. How can Rosh Hashana be September 12th? I'm not ready for it. It's still the middle of the summer. Last year Rosh Hashana was at the very end of September and Yom Kippur fell in October - that makes sense.

And the Religious insist on changing Summer Time back to Winter Time for the Holidays. Don't ask me why. (Something about the hours of fasting on Yom Kippur. Correct me if I'm wrong - but aren't twenty-four hours twenty-four hours whenever they begin?) So that at the beginning of September already it will be getting dark earlier.

And, talk about bad planning. Yom Kippur falls this year on Friday night and Saturday - we don't work on those days we're cheated out of two "free" days. What kind of "mishegas" (craziness) is this? And Rosh HaShana falls on Wednesday night - so Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are Holidays.

I remember that when I was a kid growing up in New York Jewish women - no matter how early the Holiday and no matter how hot it was - wore their "Hadassah Tallis" (otherwise known as a mink stole) to shul. So what if the temperature was 90 degrees farenheit - they had to show the world that their husbands could afford to buy them a mink stole. By the way - I wonder what ever happened to all those mink stoles - I haven't seen one in years.

No matter - I'm going to begin to get myself mentally ready for Rosh HaShana - even though I'm not really ready for it.

Yalla, Bye.

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