Sunday, December 03, 2006
THERE GOES THE DIET - AGAIN
So today - not only was I dieting - I was also working at my desk trying to clean up all my paperwork (I tell you - my papers have babies even while I sleep - sort of like wire hangers which seem to proliferate in the clothes closets overnight). My phone rang. My friend, Joey. "Do you want to go out to lunch?" "No" I said - "I'm doing my paperwork" - feeling very virtuous yet again. "OK - I'm bringing lunch to you - I found us a great treat."
And a short time later my doorbell rang. "Meals on Wheels" announced Joey. And then we went to town. Joey and I both keep kosher - at home. There was a time when we didn't keep kosher - so we know what non-kosher tastes like. Well - I still know what real non-kosher tastes like as I eat all kinds of "treyf" outside (things like bacon and prosciutto and shellfish). Joey doesn't.
So what did he bring for lunch? Kosher bacon. It's really veal - but - I swear - it tastes like bacon. We never even bothered to sit at the table. We just scarfed down bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches while standing over the sink. Not even with lettuce and tomato. And Joey - what a goyishe thing to do - he brought a loaf of white bread which he didn't even toast! I, of course, was semi-good and ate my sandwiches on seven-grain "leham kal" (diet bread). Toasted.
I'll tell you the truth - it was as good as any meal we eat at the fanciest restaurants around. And - there went the diet - again.
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